Word fun

lexiphanes

One who uses words pretentiously.

nosism

The use of 'we' in referring to oneself.

Insufficiency

When I attain to utter forth in verse
Some inward thought, my soul throbs audibly
Along my pulses, yearning to be free
And something farther, fuller, higher, rehearse
To the individual, true, and the universe,
In consummation of right harmony:
But, like a wind-exposed distorted tree,
We are blown against for ever by the curse
Which breathes through Nature. Oh, the world is weak !
The effluence of each is false to all,
And what we best conceive we fail to speak.
Wait, soul, until thine ashen garments fall,
And then resume thy broken strains, and seek
Fit peroration without let or thrall.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Learning to juggle

Reader: "Where the hell have you been?"

Me: "What do you mean? I've been here, more or less"

Reader: "I don't mean physically. I mean blog-wise. Why haven't you posted for so long?"

Me: "I've been a bit busy lately."

Reader: "Oh. Doing what, exactly?"

Me: "Well, let's see. It's the busiest time of the year for my business so that keeps me pretty busy during the day."

Reader: "Ya. OK. What else is new."

Me: "Um. Then there is my 88-year-old dad who has Parkinson's disease and is pretty pissed off about it. He takes up a bit of my time."

Reader: "Ya, ya, you're a good daughter, we know all that. But what about the blog?"

Me: "Then there is the STBX that finally moved out (sort of) and left behind a load of crap that has to be dealt with - including some of his emotional baggage. I didn't think you'd want to hear about that."

Reader: "Correctamundo! No emotional baggage talk, thank you very much. But there has to be something that you could rant/talk/blog about that might be of interest. Didn't you just take some sort of trip?"

Me: "Oh ya! Bali! That was awesome. I could post some cool photos and tell you about how I rode an elephant or how I had to pay to get out of the country. Would that be interesting?"

Reader: "Yes. That might be nice. As long as you don't go on too long or show too many pictures of all the food you ate."

Me: "Oh. Well that will limit the number of pictures considerably and I'll keep the stories short."

Reader: "Good. Nothing bores a reader more than hearing about the FOOD you ate in some foreign country. I mean, come on. One story about food is OK but don't go overboard."

Me: "Got it. Short and sweet (or sour or tangy, depending on the food). "

Reader: "Anything new on the health front? I'm almost afraid to ask."

Me: "Well, there have been a few blips on the radar with regard to my 'condition' but I don't want to bore you with the details. Suffice it to say that I might be asking for more hats for Christmas. But let's not talk about that yet - we'll cross that rickety bridge if/when we get to it and then we'll all have Mojitos when we get to the other side."

Reader: "Crap! OK. I promise not to ask about your health again. Anything else?"

Me: "Since you asked.....we had to put our 17-year-old dog to sleep earlier this week. It was very sad but definitely the right thing to do. He went quickly and was munching away on dog treats at the time - his favorite thing to do."

Reader: "Bummer! You HAVE had a lot to do lately. I'm sorry I bothered you about the blog. You must think I'm a total jerk."

Me: "No no! Not at all. I really appreciate your interest. I was just worried that I would sound too whiny if I tried to post all this stuff. It helps to get it all off my chest, ya know? Thanks for listening."

Reader: "No problem. Glad to help. So, next post - Bali?"

Me: "And Singapore. Don't forget about Singapore!"

Reader: "Great! I'm looking forward to it."

hallelujah

Whilst listening to Jeff Buckley's awesome version of the song Hallelujah, I decided I needed to post something. It's been a while, I know, but I've had a lot going on. Maybe a little too much. I'll try to recap the last few weeks as briefly as possible:

work = busy
home life = strained but moving forward
STBX = moved out
mood = good
on-line life = fun and different
OKC = over and out
UK friend = mad about me, calls daily
Other OKC friends = still in contact
off-line life = fun and different
dinner date = new "activity" partner (strictly platonic)
new activity partner = lots of gifts!
health = still in question but thinking positively
CT = clear
CA125 = not so clear (WTF!)
quest for iPod = complete!

That's it, in outline form. I am ramping up for my trip to Singapore and Bali at the end of the week!!!!!!!!! Only problem is I have NO idea what I'm going to wear. It's going to be over 90 and sticky the whole time I'm there. I don't know about you but if I'm wearing a skirt and it's hot and sticky, so are my thighs. I hate that. I'll have to do some creative wardrobe thinking. As Edna Mode would say - NO SHORTS! I'm going to try to post while there if I can. I'll take lots of pictures and keep a hand written diary (imagine that) so I will have lots of fodder for the blog.

love it!

bissextile
Of or pertaining to the leap year or the extra day in the leap year.

Is that a great word or what!

Animus

I've been struggling with what could be called "writer's block," but that would be presumptuous as I am not truly a writer in the classical sense. Is there a thing called "blogger's block?" If so, that's what I've had.....until this morning.

This morning I took out the New York Times' Magazine, as usual, and out came the obnoxiously fat, tree-killing, toxic ink filled Eye Candy: Women's Fashion Fall 2007. Normally I happily toss these special editions into the recycle bin without a glance. For some unknown reason I decided to flip through this ventilation of style. Perhaps this was caused by some imbalance of my limbic system or the need for more greens in my diet. Regardless of the reason, it did help me break out of my literary stagnation. And it PISSED ME OFF!

Now, I am not against looking nice, wearing clothes that make you feel attractive, getting a haircut that is flattering, but I do have a problem with so-called high fashion. Let's not get into the bit about how no normal shaped people can wear any of it, or afford it if they could wear it, or want to be seen dead in most of it. Let's skip right to the part about the waste of human resources and what a slap in the face it is to most of the earthly population. The amount of time and money put into this vapid industry is staggering! And who does it benefit? Who??? If Dior or Vera Wang were to suddenly disappear from the planet, would the balance of nature be thrown out of whack? Would the glaciers melt or the temperature of the oceans suddenly rise? It might change the economic status of some small community in China, throwing its slave labor into the street, but it would not cause any major shift in the space time continuum. Imagine what could be done with that money! The people it could house and feed....and clothe! It isn't a club to which I feel the need to belong.....anymore.

When I was a kid, we lived in West Palm Beach, Florida. West Palm was to the west (on the mainland) of one of one of the world's Mecca's of vacuousness - Palm Beach. We drove over to "the island" every weekend to mingle with the rich folk. We strolled through the shops on Worth Avenue (ironically named, I think) and sunned on its beaches. As a teen, I crashed parties at The Breakers on New Year's Eve and pretended to be staying at a number of the other high-class hotels while using their pools or private beaches. This required a great deal of planned dialogue with my cohorts that could be heard by other patrons to prove our rightful belonging. These fake conversations included references to our yacht, our trip to St. Barts, a visit to our Aunt in Cannes, etc. Any mention of a sale at Jordan Marsh or problems with one's Dodge Dart were strictly forbidden for they could blow your cover in a heart beat! Also, the carrying of a stolen room key was essential for credibility. (One of our cohorts actually lived in Palm Beach as a child, before her parents' fall from grace and economic decline, and had several important icons from her past that allowed us access to forbidden places.)

I would like to think that I didn't go to these places so much because of a desire to be like these people - I thought they were rude and ridiculous for the most part - but because I wanted to put one over on them, so to speak. I wanted to wear my Sears bought bathing suit in their gold-plated pools and my K-Mart flip flops on their teak decks and rub it in their face. I wanted them to know that they had nothing on me. Oh yes, I bought my requisite Izod shirt at the Izod store on the Ave, I wore my Speary Topsider shoes, and I ate at the absurdly overpriced Hamburger Heaven with my mother, but I like to think that I never bought into all the "we are better than you" crap that flowed like honey over there. One of my high school buddies worked for Gucci on the Ave and was in charge of taking care of the designer's apartment above the shop. We spent several evenings wandering through the apartment, spying on the inner workings of the über-rich. Guess what - they have to buy toilet paper and foot cream, just like everybody else. I'm not sure where I'm going with all this but it just seemed like something I needed to get out.

As I sit in my bed wearing my Olympic National Park T-shirt and my pajama bottoms with dancing reindeer on them, I reflect on what it means to be stylish and what if any importance this has on my ability to function in this world. I do think that beauty has it's place - in nature, mostly - and it would not be a happy world if we all dressed and looked alike. I just wish we could do it within reason and not at the expense of others.

Books on tape

I have become addicted to listening to books on tape or CD. When I was home last year, recovering from the removal of a great deal of my insides, my brother loaned me his iPod full of books. (I believe that I now have a permanent dent in one of my ears where I slept on one of the ear buds.) I listened to at least 40 books during that time and now I find that I can not go to sleep at night without something on the Aiwa - my cheap mini stereo purchased at the local pawn shop. In the beginning of my addiction I would cruise the shelves of the local library for my new drug, often bringing home lower quality items just for the sake of having something. I have since graduated to cruising my library account on the Web and requesting higher quality stuff to be delivered to our little library in LFP. This has allowed me to be more selective but sometimes means that I have to wait for what I need. (Thank goodness we own some Harry Potter CDs to fill in the gaps.)

My latest listen is fantastic: Behind the Scenes at the Museum by Kate Atkinson;the Whitbread Book of the Year (1995?). Not only is it highly amusing and wonderfully written, it is read by Susan Jameson; a great British actress. I find that I am spoiled by books read by Brits. When I get a book read by an American speaker, it is almost always disappointing, no matter how great the story. The only exception to this was The Poisonwood Bible read with a heavy southern accent appropriate to the story. The back of a box of cornflakes read aloud by a Brit could sound like Shakespeare, I think. I will have to ask my new UK friends if they think an American's accent sounds at all pleasing or exotic. Probably not.