le' go my LEGO

Last night I died and went to heaven. I know, freaky isn't it! I died yet I can still write this blog from the great beyond! Okay, what really happened is that I discovered the LEGO store in Bellevue. You heard me - the LEGO STORE, in my state, within driving distance. Granted, it isn't as amazing as the LEGO store outside of Disneyland - no life-sized giraffe made out of LEGOs - but it does have the LEGO wall. You buy a cup for X amount and then cram that sucker as full of LEGOs as you can. They had colors that I've never seen in a LEGO before, like bright orange and lime green. That's right, LIME GREEN! (Oh my gosh, as I'm writing this there is a show on the TV where the family is visiting Legoland! Do, do, do do.....)

I was think that opening a LEGO shop would be great so I actually wrote to the company to ask if I could open a store. Here is what they said:

"We appreciate your interest in the possibility of opening a retail outlet carrying a full line of LEGO brand toys in your area. Your interest in this type of business venture certainly does attest to your enthusiasm for our products.

We would like to explain how LEGO toys are sold. Our products are marketed through a variety of established retail distribution channels; toy supermarkets, national chain discount stores, catalog showrooms, department stores, and specialty toyshops. Additionally, the LEGO Shop at Home Service and LEGO Outlet Stores are corporate direct-marketing programs. In conjunction with our business objectives, we do not offer any sort of franchises or assist in establishing businesses for individuals who wish to sell our products exclusively."

I think that's a nice way of saying "nah uh, you freak." I wrote back telling them that I think they are making a mistake. We'll just have to see how that goes over.

The Wall of Happiness

Turning Japanese

This past Monday I had lunch with my friend Roy. Roy is in his 70's and is the father of my best bud PR. He is by far the coolest "old guy" I know. We had lunch at the Bay Cafe at Fisherman's Warf and then went for a walk in Discovery Park. It was a beautiful day for walking and talking. (I told him about my ruminations about the Demartini method, poor guy.) Roy is a fantastic photographer. He is a member of the Seattle Photographic Society and has won many awards over the years. I just received a DVD in the mail today with several of his favorite photographs. I will be posting many of his photos in my new "photo of the week" section. This man should be making money with these things! He has such a great eye. If only he were a few years younger.....

(This photo is of Discovery Park and was taken by Patricia Reed.)

Fire in the hole

I was just reading the Yarn Harlot blog about the moving guys and the stove (titled: the way things are) and was reminded of a similar story that I like to tell about men's stupidity.

When we were living in NY we had one car between the two of us. It was the Mazda GLC I bought when I was in grad school. After many years of NY city driving, the ol' GLC was starting to have serious problems. When it came time to retire ol' yeller, we decided to drive it to the LDEO campus and leave it in the back parking lot where all the old cars were left to be hijacked by aliens or towed away, whichever came first.

It was a cold and snowy day; not actively snowing but there was slush on the road and driving was tricky. I was driving the old car and M was driving behind me in the new car to make sure I made it up the final hill to campus. I was almost to the top when the car finally gave out and I had to pull over. I got out and saw flames underneath the car. Here is how events unfolded from there:

me: "Hey M, the car is on fire!"

M: "No it isn't"

me: "Yes, it is. I see flames! Get some snow to throw on the engine or something!"

M: "Nah. The car isn't on fire."

me: "But I see flames!"

M: "No you don't."

Guy in a Jeep driving by: "Hey man, your car is on fire!"

M: "Oh man! You're right! Thanks!"

Result: $80 to tow car 500 feet to said parking lot and much scowling on my part. Like I said, men are stupid.

Giving in

It may be time for me to throw in the towel, and the credit card, and sign up for this on-line dating thing. Maybe I'm just fresh meat but I've received 4 inquiries or, as they call it, "interested in you" emails from chemistry.com and they get more interesting each time. I'm not sure if Assad and I will have a lot in common but it might be interesting to find out, don't ya think? Especially since I'm all ready with my new Demartini outlook. Let's review the pros and cons of this venture:

pro: free meals
con: leg shaving
pro: fun times
con: stomach sucking
pro: getting compliments
con: taking compliments
pro: finding someone who likes me for who I am
con: more leg shaving
pro: having a smile on my face all the time
con: having to explain the smile on my face and clean shaven legs to the soon-to-be ex-husband living in the basement and my teen-aged daughter without looking like some sort of brazen hussy just looking for a good time and a free meal.

Oh, but since I'm in the Demartini-zone now, it's all good, right?

Martinis or Demartinis?

I have become addicted to listening to books on tape (or CD). I've always enjoyed reading but since opening the store, I haven't had time. Or more specifically, I haven't figured out how to knit or crochet and read at the same time. Watch TV, yes; read, no. When I was recovering last year, my brother was kind enough to lend me his iPod which he had filled with 40 books! It was wonderful. I find now that I must be listening to something when I go to bed or I find it hard to fall asleep.

Last night, I was listening to a story on my computer when my daughter asked me to copy the story onto a CD so she could listen to it. This meant that I could not listen to the story at the same time and was therefor forced to turn on the radio or go through auditory withdrawal - not pretty. (Geez, what a big setup for my point. And I do have a point, I think.) It was late-ish and a rather obscure new-agey type of show was on. I wasn't going to actually listen to what they were talking about because it sounded a bit too touchy-feely for me but I found myself paying attention after a bit. (We're getting closer, I promise.) It turns out the host was interviewing a Dr. Demartini - a self-help kind of guy who seemed extremely full of himself and very A.D.D.. I did a lot of eye rolling and "whatever" muttering as I listened. Basically, his philosophy has to do with neutralizing all your positive and negative feelings about things in order to balance out your life and make yourself happy. He didn't say that in such simple terms - there was a lot of talk about "love matrix" and "divine love," blah, blah, blah; yatta, yatta, yatta. Here's a description of the Demartini method:

The method involves the use of a pre-determined series of questions and actions directed toward the objective of bringing an individual's conscious mind to states of presence and certainty, and to their physical body the feelings of gratitude and unconditional love.

The gist of it is that you think positive about the negative and negative about the positive and it all comes out in the wash and you can be rich and happy and live in a big house in Australia. If someone tells you your an asshole, you say: "why yes I am, thank you very much for noticing," and go on about your business. (I call this the Popeye Theory o' Life - "I am what I am.") He also talks about something that I'm going to call Fickle Feelings. That is, you can transfer your neutralized feelings from one thing to another without penalty because you are finding the positive in all things. So, when his wife died suddenly, it was okay for him to boink the young neighbor because all he was doing was transferring his positive feelings for the dead wife to this living person. No mourning necessary. How convenient for him! It's also okay to get paid enormous amounts of money by people who are miserable with their lives because money is just an exchange medium for services - all positive - and he has no attachment to it. (He isn't attached to it because he spends it all on houses in Australia and his Gold Rolls Royce, etc.) Damn! I want a method!

Although I find this guy nauseating, I did find one thing he talked about thought-worthy. If you set unrealistic goals for yourself, you will be unhappy. I think that's not to say that you shouldn't have your dreams exceed your reach but you actually have to have the (metaphorical) arms to reach with or your screwed. So I can't be a superhero with x-ray vision but I can learn to fly. (Finally, a reference to Martinis!)

Cowgirls shouldn't wear thongs

Saturday night I went to a Cowgirl party at a friend's on Capital Hill. The board game is designed to encourage story telling and is a HOOT to play with the right crowd. (Think of it as Trivial Pursuit meets The View.) You move your horse around the board collecting charms by answering questions, etc. (See sample card below.) The first to get to the Ranch with all her charms wins the game. I highly recommend serving margaritas or just straight shots of tequila for the best game play.

There are some of my friends that would not enjoy this sort of sharing game but, then again, it might give them an excuse to talk about things that they normally wouldn't talk about. It might be best to play with people who you aren't all that close to so if something "delicate" comes up, you don't have to worry about the little tidbit getting spread around your usual circle. Most of the questions where innocuous enough but some where pretty deep. One of the categories was called "sex and body"- this category had the best questions by far, so we made sure to ask that question in addition to whatever question was required. It was WAY more fun that way. (It was a "mixed" crowd so lots of good stories.)

I was in charge of the food which, if you know me at all, could have been disastrous. Cooking is not my forte. I made enchiladas and I winged it all the way. They turned out great! I made two big pans - about 16 enchiladas. Here's my recipe:

Ingredients
corn tortillas, warmed in a frying pan until they are soft
1 bag of Trader Joe's organic roasted corn
1 small can of chilies (or fresh ones, if you're that kind of person)
2 cans organic black beans
1 large can of green enchilada sauce
1 yellow and 1 red pepper sliced or diced
shredded cheese of your choice (I used a monterrey jack/cheddar mix)
Option: chicken pieces.

I fried the peppers just a little bit to soften them up - you could steam them instead.
Mix the corn, beans, and chilies in a bowl. Roll up this mix with a few of the pepper strips in the warmed tortillas and lay them in a baking pan. Cover with the sauce and sprinkle on the cheese. Pop it in a 350º oven until the cheese is melted. Garnish with cilantro, if you have it lying around. Yummy.

Here's a picture of the Cowgirls. The hostess has more photos that she's going to load on Flicker soon, I hope. There were some good ones.

chemistry redeux

I just got an email from chemistry.com that said someone was interested in me. I didn't think that my profile was actually posted! Ew, ew, ew.... I don't think I like this. The good news is that I don't have to respond if I don't want to. I really don't want to. And just so you know, I made that decision before I went on line and read this guys profile and saw his picture. Okay, so if he had really wowed me with his essay and picture I might have been tempted but... that didn't happen. (To be totally honest, he looked a lot like my second boyfriend from college. Not a great plus.) I don't think this is the route for me. Too weird or too soon or too--- something. I'll just have to wait for some nice guy to accidentally come in to the shop to ask for directions and then "accidentally" break the lock on the door so he can't get out and has no choice but to talk to me. Isn't that how Black Widow spiders catch their mate?

Along the lines of personal chemistry, I have decided that it is time for me to acquire a personal "scent." Okay, when I re-read that sentence it sounds kind of gross but let me explain. Somewhere in the back of my brain that holds all the useless bits about personal style (I call it the Oprahabium) is a memory about an article or show regarding things that define you stylistically - ya know, like always wearing a scarf or thongs. Anyway, having a personal scent was one of those things that can help define you, albeit superficially. What the heck, I could use some superficiality, couldn't you? (I think that's a title of an 80's song by Big Flock of Haircuts, or someone like that.) Perfume has always given me a headache so I've never bothered with it but that nagging little ache in my Oprahabium was needing attention all of the sudden. So, I went into Sephora and told the clerk that I wanted to smell like fresh citrus; a scent I've always liked. We sprayed a bunch of different scents on sticks and waved them around under my nose until I found one that didn't immediately make me nauseated. I sprayed some on me and walked around for a while to see if it turned sour or made me itchy. About one hour later, a purchase was made! The scent is Mandarine and Basile and so far, so good. No rashes, no headaches, no urges to lick my arms. So now I can die happy knowing that my friends will have something to say about me at my funeral --- "she always smelled like salad."

Poetry by Mary Oliver

Lilies

I have been thinking
about living
like the lilies
that blow in the fields.

They rise and fall
in the edge of the wind,
and have no shelter
from the tongues of the cattle,

and have no closets or cupboards,
and have no legs.
Still I would like to be
as wonderful

as the old idea.
But if I were a lily
I think I would wait all day
for the green face

of the hummingbird
to touch me.
What I mean is,
could I forget myself

even in those feathery fields?
When Van Gogh
preached to the poor
of coarse he wanted to save someone--

most of all himself.
He wasn't a lily,
and wandering through the bright fields
only gave him more ideas

it would take his life to solve.
I think I will always be lonely
in this world, where the cattle
graze like a black and white river--

where the vanishing lilies
melt, without protest, on their tongues--
where the hummingbird, whenever there is a fuss,
just rises and floats away.

Mary Oliver

chemistry

Okay. I know I said I have a headache and that is still true. I also think some of my brains have leaked out because I just went on chemistry.com and filled out my profile. I guess I'm curious. So, the first thing they have you do on your "profile" test is describe your right hand! That's what I said - describe your hand! (Is your index finger shorter or longer than your ring finger, etc.) WTF!! Then they ask you some real questions about your personality. Then they have you do some more visual acuity tests! What, if you have good spacial ability you can't be matched with an asymmetric person? They want a photo - you are 8 times more likely to find a good match with a photo. I don't have a photo. I guess I'll have to have a stupid photo.

My first 5 matches are free. They are Steve, Brian, Kevin, Bill, and Rene. That's right, Rene. Bill has a large mustache and is in transportation - i.e. bus driver. His profile was the funniest, for sure. Brian is the only other one with a photo - not bad but he is 49 and never been married. Is that normal? He looks too shiny for me. Kevin sounds like a good match - our profiles are a "great match" according to the man behind the curtain. I'm an Explorer/Negotiator and he is a Director/Negotiator. But here is his essay:

Sharing is what relationships thrive on. By truly being open to another, almost all of life's experiences take on far richer hues. The azure color of the ocean in the south of France is just that when viewed by oneself. When that same scene is reflected in the eyes of your soul mate, when you feel the touch of her hand, her smile. The result is very powerful. This is what I'm looking for, are you?

See. I'm not so sure that's NORMAL. Did his sister write this or what?And his profile title is "Why not enjoy the ride?" What does that mean?

Rene seems pretty normal but his occupation is telecommunications/phone guy. Phone guy? He is a Director/Builder. I guess I need direction.

I'm not sure if I go on for shits and grins or stop while I'm ahead. Any thoughts?

my head hurts

I've been getting migraines since my early 20's. Fortunately, the frequency and intensity has decreased as years go by as I have been able to weed out many of the factors that trigger them. Stress is a big factor, as is diet and certain physical activities (i.e. anything that has to do with a lot of stress on my arms like rock climbing or water skiing, for some weird reason). Sometimes I just seem to get them for no reason at all. The visual aura part of the headache comes first and would be really kind of cool if the pain and nausea didn't go along with it. I've had to pull over to the side of the road when driving because my vision is so blurred. It sucks. But, like I said, I've been doing better on the headache front as time goes by.

I bring this topic up because I was reading an article in the NY Times Magazine this past weekend about a guy (a guy from MST3K, by the way) that has had a headache DAILY for the past 20 years! (oh, and I have a headache right now.) He has seen doctors about it and they all say basically the same thing: "bummer, dude." Twenty friken years! I've read a lot about headaches over the years and the medical community really doesn't know all that much about why we get them. Sinus headaches make sense - pressure causes pain - but migraines and everyday headaches are still a mystery. When I was really having trouble with the migraines, I tried a myriad of medications without success. (One med caused me to have stroke-like symptoms and projectile vomiting. Fun city.) Now I just let them run their course while hiding in my room under the covers. If I were still having them often, I would definitely try acupuncture.

I guess I'm writing about this because I am distracted by the complexity of the human body and our ability or, as in this case, our inability to figure out how it all works. House is my favorite TV show and I have been known to watch forensic shows for hours at a time. NY Times Magazine has a medical mystery article once a month or so and I pride myself on trying to figure out what's wrong with the patient! The one they had last week was something that House diagnosed this past season so I knew what it was! What a dork I am. If only I could use these powers for good! My head really hurts now.

livin' large

I have some comments about weight. I recently visited my doctor - a guy I happen to have respect for - and we talked conversationally about weight. He has always told me that being a little meaty is a sign of health and a far better thing to be struggling with then, say, cancer. Agreed. But our society insists on cramming skinny down our throats at every turn. I know that we are in some way enablers - we buy the mags, we watch the shows - but there has to be some way to make it all stop. I'm all for health and good diet but come on. I would like to see a catalog with normal shaped people in clothes that are flattering. Better yet, I'd like not to give a crap.

I use to blame organized religion for much of the world's ills but I have a friend - a very intelligent guy - who told me that religion can't be blamed because without it, we would still find differences to fight about. Color, money, ....weight. How many times have you looked at an obese person and made a snap judgment about their intelligence level? "If they were smart, they wouldn't let themselves get so big." What a load of crap. (Some of the unhealthiest people I know are vegans. How's that for a generalization.) We all have our issues. Some we are born with and can't do anything about. Some we are just too lazy to deal with. Some are just not important enough to invade our daily space. I would like weight to be one of those things that doesn't invade my daily space. I have been thin and liked it but don't want to be distracted by being thin again. I want to be healthy and that's it.

In the beginning

I write this blog as anonymous (or "me") because I can. It doesn't really matter if you know who I am, does it? If what I write interests you, you will read it regardless.

Let's begin with a random fact: I am not afraid of dying but I am afraid of having not lived; hence the subtitle of my blog. I want to live my life to the fullest, as long as "to the fullest" doesn't mean "without concern for others." So, there are limits to what I can do but I'm going to push them as far as I can within that parameter.