chemistry redeux

I just got an email from chemistry.com that said someone was interested in me. I didn't think that my profile was actually posted! Ew, ew, ew.... I don't think I like this. The good news is that I don't have to respond if I don't want to. I really don't want to. And just so you know, I made that decision before I went on line and read this guys profile and saw his picture. Okay, so if he had really wowed me with his essay and picture I might have been tempted but... that didn't happen. (To be totally honest, he looked a lot like my second boyfriend from college. Not a great plus.) I don't think this is the route for me. Too weird or too soon or too--- something. I'll just have to wait for some nice guy to accidentally come in to the shop to ask for directions and then "accidentally" break the lock on the door so he can't get out and has no choice but to talk to me. Isn't that how Black Widow spiders catch their mate?

Along the lines of personal chemistry, I have decided that it is time for me to acquire a personal "scent." Okay, when I re-read that sentence it sounds kind of gross but let me explain. Somewhere in the back of my brain that holds all the useless bits about personal style (I call it the Oprahabium) is a memory about an article or show regarding things that define you stylistically - ya know, like always wearing a scarf or thongs. Anyway, having a personal scent was one of those things that can help define you, albeit superficially. What the heck, I could use some superficiality, couldn't you? (I think that's a title of an 80's song by Big Flock of Haircuts, or someone like that.) Perfume has always given me a headache so I've never bothered with it but that nagging little ache in my Oprahabium was needing attention all of the sudden. So, I went into Sephora and told the clerk that I wanted to smell like fresh citrus; a scent I've always liked. We sprayed a bunch of different scents on sticks and waved them around under my nose until I found one that didn't immediately make me nauseated. I sprayed some on me and walked around for a while to see if it turned sour or made me itchy. About one hour later, a purchase was made! The scent is Mandarine and Basile and so far, so good. No rashes, no headaches, no urges to lick my arms. So now I can die happy knowing that my friends will have something to say about me at my funeral --- "she always smelled like salad."